How many times can you recall saying old phrases to your children such as "Nobody Likes a Quitter?"
Probably many times, more than one can actually recall! Yet do we really mean it? How we mean it, may not be so to a young person who takes everything literally. I mean when we say to our children, "Nobody Likes a Quitter!" Why then, oh do tell me why we then spend our days telling the same child to....
Quit that, stop that, quit pestering, be quiet, quit, quit, stop, stop, quit talking so loud, quit asking for things, quit asking me to buy you something, quit fidgeting, hold still, quit eating so much, quit eating without asking, quit, quit, quit!
My daughter at one point even told us after a long day of non stop pestering, when I asked her why she was so intent on the asking for things said..."Because you told me to NEVER quit or give up!"
Is the suggesting nobody likes a quitter or to never give up contradict what we really want to impose? By impose I mean, I am starting to see how we as parents can really give some really large contradictions. We say never to give up, but our idea of that fits a pre-existing image of the specific type of things we do not want to see our children give up on, to keep trudging along and working at it.
Yet when a child does not give up in areas we see as a direct assault on our peace of mind as it does NOT fit our box of ideas, we say instantly to STOP, QUIT!" This may be due to we are tired or do not have the money for an item or whatever but it crosses into our own ideal of image of those things we ourselves do not want to be bothered with.
Nobody Likes a Quitter, Never Give up are very powerful words, we can not direct the path of when it is okay to quit because it is bothering US or if the activity chosen is something we ourselves think are worthy enough to never give up!
Powerful words should be spoken with care, and we should really mean them when we say them. It is not the child's fault they will take those words in literal sense and push it to the limits as they test the theory out.
Words have meaning and can make direct impact upon an impressionable young child or adolescent, and it is not the childs wrong doing when taken so. They do not have to live up to our image of how WE take the words to mean, as individuals, they will grow into a meaning of their own and what the words mean to THEM.
So word of caution, Say what you mean, mean what you say and choose your words and phrases with careful consideration or be prepared for the actions that may or may not come about due to them!
Probably many times, more than one can actually recall! Yet do we really mean it? How we mean it, may not be so to a young person who takes everything literally. I mean when we say to our children, "Nobody Likes a Quitter!" Why then, oh do tell me why we then spend our days telling the same child to....
Quit that, stop that, quit pestering, be quiet, quit, quit, stop, stop, quit talking so loud, quit asking for things, quit asking me to buy you something, quit fidgeting, hold still, quit eating so much, quit eating without asking, quit, quit, quit!
My daughter at one point even told us after a long day of non stop pestering, when I asked her why she was so intent on the asking for things said..."Because you told me to NEVER quit or give up!"
Is the suggesting nobody likes a quitter or to never give up contradict what we really want to impose? By impose I mean, I am starting to see how we as parents can really give some really large contradictions. We say never to give up, but our idea of that fits a pre-existing image of the specific type of things we do not want to see our children give up on, to keep trudging along and working at it.
Yet when a child does not give up in areas we see as a direct assault on our peace of mind as it does NOT fit our box of ideas, we say instantly to STOP, QUIT!" This may be due to we are tired or do not have the money for an item or whatever but it crosses into our own ideal of image of those things we ourselves do not want to be bothered with.
Nobody Likes a Quitter, Never Give up are very powerful words, we can not direct the path of when it is okay to quit because it is bothering US or if the activity chosen is something we ourselves think are worthy enough to never give up!
Powerful words should be spoken with care, and we should really mean them when we say them. It is not the child's fault they will take those words in literal sense and push it to the limits as they test the theory out.
Words have meaning and can make direct impact upon an impressionable young child or adolescent, and it is not the childs wrong doing when taken so. They do not have to live up to our image of how WE take the words to mean, as individuals, they will grow into a meaning of their own and what the words mean to THEM.
So word of caution, Say what you mean, mean what you say and choose your words and phrases with careful consideration or be prepared for the actions that may or may not come about due to them!
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