Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Suck it up Baby! Time to Man Up!

When my Sims game or video game characters seem on the verge of death ( I really don't play often but  when I do it always seems I take the evil stance! LOL) there is always one thing I repeatedly yell and that is "OH SUCK IT UP AND MAN UP!" I would push them to their limits and ultimately when they could no longer "suck it" up, well my game character would die from pushing TOO hard.

At times, I feel this way myself and August and September certainly seem to be more than usual. While still for the most part remaining positive, I have drained my energy of trying continuously to "make it work" yet instead of improving, things seem to be on a downward slide which means the harder I have pushed.

Yet despite all my goals, and pushing and doing whatever it takes to make things work, the battle that at times seems to be going no where fast has utterly drained me. Perhaps this has a large part in why I am not posting as often as I was. I have a hard time writing when things are not going well. I am also so so so fatigued and having a real problem finding energy these days but have been telling myself to "Suck it Up!" and still forcing myself to push through all the debris that seems in our path.

Perhaps this is a sign I need to change directions, re-design our plans, to simply life, de-clutter, de-stress and think more outside the box.

In any case it is definitely a time for me to man up, suck it up and continue being strong and looking at all the good in our daily life. It is not always easy, as little minor things on a low income can send you on a rapid spiral downward.

For the most part life is good, it is a joy, truly.

But I feel fatigued, fragmented, broken and so disorganized which is not a way I want to start a new school year as a homeschool mama.

When I feel so worn down it can be hard to continue "sucking it up" as end of the year burn out sets in. Not much seems to be rejuvenating my batteries either like I normally can do.

This is when I need to put complete "Trust" in the universe that it will all work out the way it is suppose to and through it all somehow our needs will be met along the way. September is looking pretty skimpy and bleak but I know as always, somehow we will make it through and as always will work out okay.

I am trying to process my thoughts and come up with new plans and goals as I always say if it is too much of a losing battle, nothing seems to be working and the struggle is continuous, it is a sign you are on the wrong path. So I am back stepping trying to find the correct path for my family again, as when the path is right, things flow easily and lifts you rather than drains you. When you are on the right path, it is almost an endless stream of endless miracles that just fall into your lap almost, very little effort involved.

So for September I am "Sucking" it up and putting our path under review!