Saturday, September 29, 2012

Accepting When You Need Help

In the past, when things got too tight to handle, I always went out and got a job until we were back on our feet again, sometimes this meant working for the entire year, sometimes just a few months, it just depended on what was going on.

Admitting you need help is never easy, for a woman who is used to carrying the world on her shoulders and going above and beyond this can be extremely difficult. Since I share and blog from a very honest place, then I must share the good along with the bad, including when I finally accept the fact that we need help.

So this past week had me filling out paper work to get the help we needed, medicaid and food stamps.Let me tell ya, this really really really sucked for me but as things continued to get worse, it became obvious I needed to do it before it was too late..........perhaps in some ways it may already be too late.

At this point I can not see me being able to hold down a job, as our financial situation has continued to get worse.........so has my health. Not only does my decline of health give me pause about holding down a job, it has been really difficult for me to do the physically demanding activities that have always kept food on the table...........from gardening , to biking for pop bottles to scrapping metal for a few bucks has been very difficult for me to do this year. You see, not many know but I have suspected cancer for a couple of years now, without medical coverage it has gone unchecked. I don't usually like to talk about it or blog about it as I am a firm believer in positive energy so keep extremely negative things off the blog for the most part.Not that I avoid it, I just try to focus on positive aspects.  Another consideration is that it could be a horrid horrid dental infection spreading as I have extreme dental needs. One can hope anyways ...... :)

So anyways I did apply and there is good news and bad news.

The kids are covered now on medicaid for insurance- which is great considering my son  just lost his insurance when his Dad became permanently laid off and both my children have a history of some serious health issues.

We will be receiving $435 a month in Food stamps which is great cause I just tallied up our monthly groceries and we only average $300 a month for food........or $70 a week so an additional $135 a month more than what we are use to will be very helpful and take a lot of stress off of me.


The most thing I really wanted help with was medical insurance and while my kids will be covered it is another story for me and hubby.

They said due to hubby's income we have to pay $330 a month each! OUCH

Well I doubt that is gonna happen, we can not afford $330 a month premium let alone $660 for the both of us! 

So this still leaves me trying to figure out another way, which is what I will be doing over the next week. Trust me I know I have to figure out how to get checked, but it is NOT as simple as going to emergency.......which yeah I could but there is no guarantee they would diagnose me but thee is a guarantee of a hefty heft bill.

So this next week I will be looking at other insurances, contacting the national cancer society and talking to the financial department at the hospital and what ever other agencies I need to.

I have already researched some of the holistic methods and been incorporating those.

My health is one of the  main reasons I get tired and can get hard for me to always be fighting to improve things, it leaves me exhausted and I am not sure how much longer I can keep just  "pushing through  it" and forcing me to do the more demanding of activities.

In any case I think it is  important to  know when you need help above and beyond what you are  capable of doing and seeking that help out, there is no shame in that as difficult as it can be to accept the need for help.

One a side note, I ask that comments be left on a positive note and not ones of being sorry or with a negative message of "get in and get checked" it  really is not that simple when one does not have insurance and those comments are not that helpful, so please I do ask that any comments left be of positive in nature because really, that is how I roll :)

In any case, knowing when you need help can be a step to getting back on your feet and taking the stress of your shoulders in being able to move forward.

Have a great weekend!