Monday, August 17, 2015

Following Dreams May appear as a Free-Fall Downslide At First

We had a tiny window in our decision to sell everything we owned almost in Michigan to come up with the funds to move to Oregon. We had an online friend willing to co-house a place she herself had just been able to get. We left not even knowing if the new treatment was even working or not although my Michigan Oncologist did everything in her power to ensure I would have enough medicine to tide me over for the delay between state insurances.....a 2 month supply basically.

Within 2 days of being on the road, I started hurting under the ribs and shrugged it off as the way I was sleeping.  Within a week, I knew that was not the case and that treatment simply was not working and the tumor was growing pressing on my ribs. By the time my insurance here in Oregon kicked in, 3 days before my first appointment, I was in excruciating pain, things did not taste any good and well, was back defying the grim reaper again. New oncologist switched my treatment ( back in February I believe) and we immediately started seeing results in my favor.

6 months we co-housed and as I said in an earlier post, my family just was not too happy sharing space, not that they were not nice, they were , just that we were not very compatible personalities. However I am forever grateful to experience it to see if it was for us and to know we had a place to come to when we got here. So we made the choice to go on an extended camping trip to explore Oregon. This lasted 5 days before I found out about the brain tumor and for the third time in 3 years defied the grim reaper. He loves to grab my hand and force me across the threshold to the other side and each time I pull back letting him know I am not ready. My family still needs me, I have dreams I want to fulfill and I simply am not gonna go easily so there!

Well we now for the past 2 1/2 months have technically been considered homeless, although we still for now have a roof over our heads at a friends who has given us a tiny studio that is a tad bigger than our 3 cabin tent. As soon as she found out about the brain tumor she would not allow us sleeping in the tent anymore. This also came at a time our van started really struggling with overheating and a badly needed brake repair which both of course are still in need of repair. We have tried 3 times at the mechanics to fix the overheating issue but it still continues to be a problem as the trip to Washington and Portland left us in the red for a little bit.

Many may say why would we ever take a trip knowing it would put us in the red and financially hurt us? Well it should not have but with the tumor it made for the worst navigation skills ever and had us driving around forever lost!  Also I truly did not know how long I may have so it is a trip I would do all over again since it may have been my 1 shot to explore the west beyond Grants Pass, meet the most amazing families and see some of the most beautiful scenery you can imagine.

Have we hit bottom yet? No, not really, bottom would mean no roof over our heads, going hungry, losing health insurance..........  it is just appearing to go in a downward slide, even our 14K has been cut in half with hubby having to become my full time care giver.

But we continue to live in the moment, seize the day, follow our grand dreams with a positive attitude ( other than me getting real anxious and ragey from the steroids they had me on through radiation! )
I also do have a plan to turn things around as long as my health holds out so I am really looking forward to how that plays out in our cards. I can not quite share that with you all yet though! But perhaps soon I will be able to!

Today is Monday, a day to start new beginnings so I wish all of you a fabulous week!

Turn the page,

Carrie Hetu