Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Positive Partnering



Part of our journey here is having a partnership connection with our children, where they have a voice and their needs not only are allowed to be heard,  but something done about it as well! Children are people too,  with dreams, goals, desires and needs, just as adults do. In our journey through life in our home, we recognize this as a primal need and try to help them fulfill these wants and needs. Sometimes it may take a little while to recognize that members of the family may be getting ignored and an awakening with awareness brings it to light.

For the last couple months, it has been easy for me to see every single second of the day as amazing, miraculous moments throughout the whole day. I have a blazing spark  within,  huge smile on my face, oozing positive energy and just  screaming to everyone how awesome life is! Well of course I am, January of this year I was so close to Deaths Door I could see the light coming out from  under  the door! Since then I have been healing, gaining my old self back and have hope for a long future again.........therefore everyday I wake up, alive and well it is a friggin fabulous day where my heightened senses see every minute second as a miracle, no matter what our current situation is at the  moment! I was actually irritated with family members moping around, irritable, complaining about the mundanely and financial circumstances. I would look at them in amazement and say HEY I AM STILL HERE, LIFE IS AWESOME!

Of course they are grateful I am doing good and on my way to recovery, but this did not stop them from  being unhappy about certain areas of our life, especially hubby and  our youngest daughter who are very social creatures that have a need for adventure, getting out of the house and being explorers to find new things to keep that wonder and magical part of life inside of them.

So the other day, as I recognized these unhappy feelings within them, we had a pow wow and I asked each family member, what 3 things would they change about our family or their life, would they change if they could change it right now.

My 15 year old son says he is happy the way things are, not sure if I totally believe this, as he has always had a hard time relaying emotions and feelings. He gets upset if you try to get him to talk about how he feels, however he is a lone wolf who does not like talking to people, and is a computer geek who does not mind staying home a lot, much like myself. I am no computer geek of course, but I LOVE staying home!

My daughter very easily came up with 3 things:   For us to be more active as a family, playing games and doing things ( this really fell to the wayside when my health went into the toilet)

She also wants her own money,  and go places and do things with kids her age.

Hubby wanted to get out of the 9-5 crap job world,  have a residual income coming in and have me Cancer Free.

Myself?  I definitely want to get more active and involved with the kids again, have hubby  home and remove the word NO almost completely from our vocabulary!

We brainstormed on different ideas how to accomplish these goals and how to make those changes.

For example I know, we say no much of the time because we always have this feeling of "lack and no money"

We want to change that from a "No, we don't have  the money" to a "Well, HOW can we accomplish this?" then brainstorm and problem solve. Me and hubby both recognised this almost the same day, and know that for awhile we DID do this but then life took over and we fell back into old habits.

These are real feelings, desires and needs from the youngest child to the oldest adult in the house, none are less important than another. Each should be validated and explored and nurtured to make  happen.

I look forward to working on these throughout May! When we make these changes, we will come back and ask again as people grow and change, their needs will have to be revisited on a regular basis.

Happy Partnering is a beautiful thing!